Where am I?

hello to you all and Merry Christmas.

I have had a number of e-mails concerned that I have not written anything in the blog for the last two weeks. Unfortunately, the difficult time that Christine and I had been experiencing due to the manipulation of my medication has continued during my stay in the hospice.

As I have said before, the medical professionals who are trying to look after me are coming from a place of trying to give me longer periods where I do not experience pain. This has involved giving me medication which is stronger than what I have been taking up to now. I have often been warned by spirit that if I took very dense chemicals it would affect me in a profoundly negative way. This has been the case.

When I first undertook to write this blog I felt that no matter what would happen I would always be in the space to dictate something into the computer that would allow me to pass to you the experience. I have not been prepared for the depth of pain that I have been experiencing, and how that pain disables me in every aspect of normal life. I hope to write more about this later in the blog.

I am hoping that now we are coming into a place of being able to take this medication in such a way so that it does not completely wipe me out in consciousness. I would dearly like to continue working in writing this blog, and writing the articles that I often put forward, and indeed arranging workshops for next year. Although the prognoses by the medical professionals is very bleak, Christine and I do not accept this prognoses, and definitely feel that we will work through this and I shall be teaching again next year.

The first workshop that we intend to teach together since I stopped teaching 12 months ago will be the seven-day Angelic Reiki workshop in Luxor, Egypt, in February of this year. Anybody reading this blog please go to our website and check out the dates. All I can tell you is that being so close to the doorway which leads out of this reality has had a profound effect on my consciousness and the way that I connect to spirit. It is my profound desire to be part of this workshop so that I can be that open doorway for everybody who attends the workshop, and so we can ground some of this most amazing energy that is trying its best to connect to the Earth at this time.

As I have said above, the last seven days have been extremely difficult in that the intense, acute pain has been with me every day for the last seven days. I give my beautiful wife, Christine, much praise and gratitude for preparing the most amazing Christmas dinner today, even though I was laid in bed upstairs pretty disabled and unable to celebrate the occasion. However, as evening approached we were able to have the most perfect Christmas dinner together and celebrate the occasion.

I am hoping that as stability comes in over the next few days, I may dedicate my time to recording all of the things that I wanted to put on the blogger for the last two weeks but have been unable to do so. If you feel drawn to understanding what having cancer is all about, then please look at this blog.

I will try to get out a Christmas message from Christine and myself, and our company which is The Foundation of Cosmic Fire. I cannot promise anything, however, but I am hoping to put this together and send it out to each one of you who have supported us through this difficult time and year.

Christine and I are ever in the space of gratitude for having been able to teach you, know you, and call on you in these difficult times.

Much love to you all.

Kevin.

Preparing the Way

Having spent the last three days in the hospice, here in Bradford, England, it has made me reflect on where I am now in relation to the cancer that I have.

It is interesting to know that when you become a resident in a hospice the entire focus and perception of the staff towards you is about creating the most perfect space for you to go through the dying process. One of the first things I was asked is "If your heart stops, or if you have a heart attack, would you want us to revive you?". It has brought home to me the position that I am in, in regard to the perception of the people who are treating me for the illness that I have which is cancer.
It is worth mentioning here, however, that Christine and myself do not subscribe to this view. Even though, on the face of it, it would appear that we have come to the end of the road in what we can do in order to overcome this cancer, both of us are wise enough to know that the most amazing thing can happen in the next moment. We believe that that will be the case in my case.

Part of the reason I am writing this blog, is to give insight into how you, or your patients, would experience the process of leaving the incarnation. It therefore seems to me, to be of service, if I put myself in that place, which is easy to do here, and to share with you the process I would go through if that is what I believed was true for me now.

For those of you who have read my article on death and dying, or may have looked at other sources where this subject is discussed, you will know that the whole process of dying and what happens to a person when they go through it is known. This knowledge of the path that we walk when we take our last breath has been known for centuries, and is part of what Christine and I call the Ancient Wisdom. This knowledge has been held by the Tibetans more than any other race over the last 10,000 years. Reading the book ' The Tibetan Book of the Dead', or ' The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying' by Sogyal Rinpoche, we'll give you insight into the Tibetan philosophy on this subject.
To reiterate from my article on this subject, in the West there is no preparation done by people approaching death for the process that they will go through and how to prepare for this journey. I liken it to taking a journey in our reality. If you were to take a journey to a new country that you had never visited, you would buy books and maps, source material about the way of life, the climate, the people etc. You would know what kind of clothes to take, what kind of money to use, the kind of food you will eat, the kind of weather you will encounter. Any of us going on such a journey makes these kinds of preparations. Death is the last journey that you will take in the physical body, yet we never read the guide books which shows us how to get through the process. These are the books listed above. It seems to me rather cavalier that we would undertake such an important journey without knowing how to navigate the path or to even give it much thought before the actual event. It seems to me the highest folly to do this when it has such an importance as to the next incarnation you will hold on this planet.

So how do you prepare for death?
As I have said, it is very easy for me to put myself in this place, being where I am now in the hospice. If I believed that if this was the journey I was taking at this moment in time I would do the following:-

Be aware that the last two years of your life in this physical body, and the spiritual work that you ave done while attached to this body, will colour the next incarnation you will take on this planet. This includes the areas of study that you are involved in, the connections to spirit that you have, the groups that you are working with and the people in those groups, and the focus of your spiritual work. I would put a lot of thought into the kind of incarnation I would like to create when I return in a physical body. For the last 12 months I would have been reading and practising the kind of spiritual philosophy that I would like to base my next incarnation on. For me, where I am now, this has been a renewed interest in the Qabala, and magical ritual. I would review the whole of the spiritual work that I have done in this lifetime, and I would feel what part of that work has excited me the most and decide if this is what I will follow exclusively in the next incarnation.
I will decide if I want to have a relationship in my next incarnation or to follow spiritual practice totally focused on the work. I will feel and decide if I wish to experience the energy of parenting again and using parenting as a way of grounding my spiritual work.
I would look at abundance issues and see how I have created abundance for myself in this lifetime. If I have found it difficult to create abundance, I will look at how that has influenced me in this incarnation and create a pathway in the next so that I might easily walk the path again without having to do the large amount of work I had to do in this lifetime in order to ground the concept.
I would also look at power issues, how you have to embrace power as part of who you are in order to manifest spiritual energy and ground it in the world and to decide if the use of power would play a significant role in my next incarnation
Also leadership issues, about standing in front of many people and showing people who you are and speaking your truth where others may not want to hear it or agree with it. I would also look at whether I wanted to pass my spiritual knowledge out as a teacher or in writing, and to be a figurehead in the world to ground spiritual concepts and pass them to others.
I would also assess how health could be a focus of doing spiritual work, and whether I would use health as a way of self-realisation as I have in this lifetime. This would also include creating the perfect kind of body that I would desire in the next lifetime, whether that be athletic, or your average kind of body.
I would also consider where I wish to live, whether that be in the East or the West. I would recognise the fact that most of the revolutionary spiritual work that is going to be done over the next 2000 years is going to take place in the West, and I would specifically focus on the country that I wish to be born into.

Whilst constantly visualising and creating this next incarnation, imagining it as perfectly as possible using all of the five senses to make it a reality, I would also focus on clearing all of the ties to this incarnation. This would include:-

I would feel all of the emotional connections to people, places, or things that are around me now and if I feel there are any imbalances I would try my best to bring balance to every situation. I would try to make sure that I will leave this incarnation without a desire to do anything on the third dimensional plane. I would try my best to let go of any attachment to any third dimensional attraction.
I would look at unfinished business, especially with family and friends.
I would look at the spiritual work that I have done in this lifetime and try to pass it over to other people to carry it on when I leave. I would try to make sure that the energy that channelled through me would then pass to the others in perfect harmony. I would also create that I would have a link once I had passed into spirit with these people, to guide and support them from wherever I find myself once I have left the incarnation.

Very importantly, I would start to walk the path of my last breath. This would be to really feel what it would be like to go through the dying process, to take my last breath, and to energetically leave the physical body. Again, I would use all of the five senses to create the sensations and perceptions of this as clearly as I could. This would ensure that I would not have any surprises, and I would be prepared for any eventuality in order to make a smooth transition from this dimension to the next.

I would feel all of the connections to spirit that I have created up to this moment in time. I would connect to all of the beings that I work with now and establish a powerful connection to them so that as I go through this transition, this connection will enable me to find myself on the plane of existence in which they are now. I would affirm my connection to the Spiritual Hierarchy, and again I would feel what it would be like to be in the presence of all of the beings are that I have worked with over the last 20 years in my spiritual work and I would really look forward to seeing them all again.
I would feel the joy of being reunited with all of my friends and family that have gone before me, and all of my brothers and sisters in spirit that have supported me. I would see myself in the most perfect space in spirit as a shining light connecting to all of my students here and passing the wisdom, energy and beauty of spirit to them from where I find myself.

I would see myself in that space now.

Lastly, I would go through all of the meditations that we teach here now that enables us to cut all of the attachments that are no longer necessary in this lifetime. This includes the Michael Kama cutting meditation, one of the most powerful meditations that we teach that allows you to strip away all of the baggage that you no longer need. I would be listening to these meditations now in order to prepare myself for the journey.

It is my recommendation that anybody who is reading these words should contemplate them and remember them, so that when it is your time to let go of this incarnation and to return back to all of our beloved brothers and sisters in spirit, that we walk the most perfect path to do that. That we all end up in the most amazing place gathered together again in brotherhood to create the next level of spirit on earth.

Painful times

Hi All.
Once again I must apologise to all of you who have been tuning into this blog to check out the words of wisdom that are dripping from my mouth as I walk through this journey with cancer.

Unfortunately, the difficult period that I find myself in since I last posted a blog has continued. The problem has been that the medication I am being given is not controlling the pain which I am experiencing through the cancer.
As we go through different combinations of drugs and the timing in taking them, it is causing me to experience different degrees of being well, and not feeling too great. As is always the case with people who have cancer, you have your good days and your bad days. Over the last three weeks I am afraid that the bad days have outweighed the good days.

I am very happy to say, however, that we have come up with the solution of me going into the local Marie Curie hospice next Monday or Tuesday, so that they can monitor the input of the different kinds of drugs they think will help me get through this period of intense pain. I will use this time to focus on this blog, and to go into the feelings that I have experienced through this illness over the last 12 months, and I should have the time to be able to devote myself to writing a comprehensive account of my experiences.

One of the things that is causing the problem, and is worth noting for healers that may come across people who do spiritual work who contract cancer, is that the practices that we do in our meditations can cause shifts in our energy bodies, which when integrated with the density of manufactured chemical remedies, can cause problems.
I myself have practised pranayama for many years which purifies the etheric body, and your Lightbody. The downside to this is that if you intake anything which is of a dense vibration, and that could be food or drink, or in this case medication, it can have an abrasive effect on the subtle body. It is this effect which I am finding difficult at this time as we go through the range of drugs that are available to me to help me get through the pain caused by the cancer.

Because of where the cancer is situated, the pain is associated with the nerves in my mouth and neck which are being aggravated by the cancerous growth. As anybody who has suffered toothache will attest, this pain can be quite intense. It also seems to be triggered without warning, without any kind of outside stimulus, and this is quite disconcerting as it can strike any time, anywhere, without warning.

I am also finding having to go through this quite difficult.
As I have always been a person who resisted taking conventional medicine, I have to swallow humble pie, and give in to the expertise of the professional doctors who are attempting to help me at this time. The medication that they are recommending are medications that are usually used in people who are depressed, or who have epileptic fits. Just this description by itself can make most of us in the holistic health arena wince at the prospect of having to take such aggressive chemicals.
One of the lessons of having cancer, is to let go of one's firm beliefs and judgements, and to accept the space in which I find myself at this time. I must trust the people who I have drawn to myself to help me. And even though these chemicals are not the first thing on the list that I would take, I must trust that in the moment that they are the best that is available at this time.

I am also finding it very difficult, because of not feeling very well at all, actually sitting down at the computer doing any kind of work. I have to be very disciplined to get up and move around day by day. It would be very easy to just go to bed and stay there. I think if I did this, though, it would have long-term detrimental effect on my outlook, and I feel I must keep going in trying to maintain some kind of daily routine. I hope, therefore, to be able to start to post blog on a regular basis.
Much love.
Kevin.