Too Much Pain

Hello again my friends. Yesterday I had a very strange day. I had gotten up at 8 AM in the morning as usual, but as sometimes is the case, I felt extremely tired and decided to go back to bed.
Woke up again at 11 AM, got up as normal, had a shower and shave. On going downstairs for my first beverage of the day, I was three-quarter way through the cup of tea when suddenly I started to go very lightheaded. In just a very short space of time this increased to such a point that I felt as though I was going to pass out. This caused me some concern as I am living by myself in a cottage in West Yorkshire. Also, at the same time I had the most amazingly acute pain in the left hand side of my neck. This pain was so intense I had never experienced anything like it before in this lifetime. It was so bad, that all my muscles were jumping and I could not stop myself from shaking. I thought I had better get some assistance, and so went over to the phone to call 999. By this time, my vision had gone, and I could not see the buttons. I had to put my head between my legs to regain some kind of vision, and then very quickly bob up to make a 999 call. On answering I found it very difficult to speak because I was breathing so rapidly I could not get any words out. Luckily, I managed to get out the address and receive assurances that the ambulance was on the way.

It arrived five minutes later, and the paramedics did a very good job in trying to bring the situation under control. All through this I was in this immense pain that I cannot describe. They tried to get me to slow down my breathing which I managed to do, through the meditation training etc, but it was a challenge. We then proceeded to go to the local emergency department at the hospital, where I ended up waiting for an hour for a doctor to see me. All of the time in the same amount of pain.
Once the doctor had come, he took two hours of administering morphine up to 15 mg before the pain subsided. Apparently, this is a very high dose. I have to say I did enjoy the trip, but not the pain.
As I did not know what was happening, it only felt right to give Christine a quick call to let her know what was going on. Of course, on hearing the news Christine booked the first flight back to England, and within two hours was on a plane. I am happy to say she is with me now.

Apparently, the pain was triggered by a massive drop in blood pressure which is why I could not stand up and kept feeling as though I was going to faint. Nobody knows why the blood pressure dropped like it did. The medical establishment seems to be focused on alleviating what is there, but not really focusing on the cause of the problem, but we all know that. What it has done, however, is mobilise the forces of cancer care. So now I have people coming at me from every direction. MacMillan nurses from one direction, district nurses from another, and palietive care nurses from another. This is great, because Christine has to go back to Mexico in the next week and I have to be by myself once again. It is of some concern that this could happen again while I am by myself, and it is a challenge to be able to get to a phone and call for assistance. I do not know how the nurses etc are going to set up the care programme, but I do know that I will be checked on constantly.

The overall feeling that is coming from the doctors and nurses in the A&E, the MacMillan nurses etc is that I am now on my last legs and they are all expecting me to go on a long journey very soon. Of course, once again, Christine and I do not buy into this and we are still plugging away with the programme of diet and vitamins to sort this out.
As you can imagine, we have received many e-mails of support, and some of those e-mails have supplied us with new insight. One of the e-mails has been particularly helpful, and it has caused Christine and I look for help in a certain direction which we feel will be productive. As we explore this, I will post more information to this blogger.

So what is the lesson? A lesson for me at this moment in time is humility. I did put out a request that I did not require any healing from anybody. When I woke this morning I was a different person. I am the same as anybody else, not an amazing spiritual teacher, but a normal bloke who has a bloody painful cancer. So if anybody out there feels they can help by sending energy or healing then I would be very grateful to accept it.
Much love to you all.
Kevin.